Punishments suck. They suck for our kids and they suck for us to give them. I felt that the punishments I was bestowing onto my daughters were just purges for me where I got to vomit out my frustrations in the heat of the moment. It was a crappy feeling that did not solve the problem in the long-run. They are short-term solutions and they made me feel disconnected from myself and my children. At the beginning of my parenting journey with my eldest, I would sometimes complain about her “misbehaviors” to family members or close friends seeking some type of advice or maybe insight. I was always met with “tips” on different ways to punish her. They would say things like “If I ever did that or said this, my parents would ground me, spank me, berate me, and look I turned out fine. You should ground her or take this or that away.” Even though it was this innate knowing that punishments were not the only answer, I listened to them because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have the knowledge or awareness to do things differently than the “traditional parenting” style. So, after enriching myself with the knowledge on punishments and discipline and applying it in my home, the dynamic between my daughters and I changed. Here is what I learned: Stop judging my children! They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. And guess what? Our children’s pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed until their mid to late twenties. What does this mean? They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. What is the pre-frontal cortex responsible for? An article posted in (journeytocollege.mo.gov) states that “The development of the pre-frontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. “It lets us do things most animals cannot,” explains Dr.Stanislaus. “Decision making, logical thinking, reasoning – all those things happen because of the frontal lobe.” Dr. Stanislaus further explains “Because the pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed, kids are not thinking about the consequences of their actions because they are enjoying the experience.” So, what is the difference between punishing and disciplining? Punishments aim to make a child feel bad, forces dominion, and frankly, is a way to get revenge. If you really think about it, when you punish, it usually comes from a place of intense reactivity and a need to impose control. It inflicts shame and all it teaches them to do is to make

Punishments suck. They suck for our kids and they suck for us to give them. I felt that the punishments I was bestowing onto my daughters were just purges for me where I got to vomit out my frustrations in the heat of the moment. It was a crappy feeling that did not solve the problem in the long-run. They are short-term solutions and they made me feel disconnected from myself and my children. At the beginning of my parenting journey with my eldest, I would sometimes complain about her “misbehaviors” to family members or close friends seeking some type of advice or maybe insight. I was always met with “tips” on different ways to punish her. They would say things like “If I ever did that or said this, my parents would ground me, spank me, berate me, and look I turned out fine. You should ground her or take this or that away.” Even though it was this innate knowing that punishments were not the only answer, I listened to them because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have the knowledge or awareness to do things differently than the “traditional parenting” style. So, after enriching myself with the knowledge on punishments and discipline and applying it in my home, the dynamic between my daughters and I changed. Here is what I learned: Stop judging my children! They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. And guess what? Our children’s pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed until their mid to late twenties. What does this mean? They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. What is the pre-frontal cortex responsible for? An article posted in (journeytocollege.mo.gov) states that “The development of the pre-frontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. “It lets us do things most animals cannot,” explains Dr.Stanislaus. “Decision making, logical thinking, reasoning – all those things happen because of the frontal lobe.” Dr. Stanislaus further explains “Because the pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed, kids are not thinking about the consequences of their actions because they are enjoying the experience.” So, what is the difference between punishing and disciplining? Punishments aim to make a child feel bad, forces dominion, and frankly, is a way to get revenge. If you really think about it, when you punish, it usually comes from a place of intense reactivity and a need to impose control. It inflicts shame and all it teaches them to do is to make

Punishments suck. They suck for our kids and they suck for us to give them. I felt that the punishments I was bestowing onto my daughters were just purges for me where I got to vomit out my frustrations in the heat of the moment. It was a crappy feeling that did not solve the problem in the long-run. They are short-term solutions and they made me feel disconnected from myself and my children. At the beginning of my parenting journey with my eldest, I would sometimes complain about her “misbehaviors” to family members or close friends seeking some type of advice or maybe insight. I was always met with “tips” on different ways to punish her. They would say things like “If I ever did that or said this, my parents would ground me, spank me, berate me, and look I turned out fine. You should ground her or take this or that away.” Even though it was this innate knowing that punishments were not the only answer, I listened to them because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have the knowledge or awareness to do things differently than the “traditional parenting” style. So, after enriching myself with the knowledge on punishments and discipline and applying it in my home, the dynamic between my daughters and I changed. Here is what I learned: Stop judging my children! They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. And guess what? Our children’s pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed until their mid to late twenties. What does this mean? They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. What is the pre-frontal cortex responsible for? An article posted in (journeytocollege.mo.gov) states that “The development of the pre-frontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. “It lets us do things most animals cannot,” explains Dr.Stanislaus. “Decision making, logical thinking, reasoning – all those things happen because of the frontal lobe.” Dr. Stanislaus further explains “Because the pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed, kids are not thinking about the consequences of their actions because they are enjoying the experience.” So, what is the difference between punishing and disciplining? Punishments aim to make a child feel bad, forces dominion, and frankly, is a way to get revenge. If you really think about it, when you punish, it usually comes from a place of intense reactivity and a need to impose control. It inflicts shame and all it teaches them to do is to make

Punishments suck. They suck for our kids and they suck for us to give them. I felt that the punishments I was bestowing onto my daughters were just purges for me where I got to vomit out my frustrations in the heat of the moment. It was a crappy feeling that did not solve the problem in the long-run. They are short-term solutions and they made me feel disconnected from myself and my children. At the beginning of my parenting journey with my eldest, I would sometimes complain about her “misbehaviors” to family members or close friends seeking some type of advice or maybe insight. I was always met with “tips” on different ways to punish her. They would say things like “If I ever did that or said this, my parents would ground me, spank me, berate me, and look I turned out fine. You should ground her or take this or that away.” Even though it was this innate knowing that punishments were not the only answer, I listened to them because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have the knowledge or awareness to do things differently than the “traditional parenting” style. So, after enriching myself with the knowledge on punishments and discipline and applying it in my home, the dynamic between my daughters and I changed. Here is what I learned: Stop judging my children! They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. And guess what? Our children’s pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed until their mid to late twenties. What does this mean? They are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are just living in the present moment and being children. It is up to us as adults to teach and help them navigate their emotions rather than shame and berate them for having them. What is the pre-frontal cortex responsible for? An article posted in (journeytocollege.mo.gov) states that “The development of the pre-frontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. “It lets us do things most animals cannot,” explains Dr.Stanislaus. “Decision making, logical thinking, reasoning – all those things happen because of the frontal lobe.” Dr. Stanislaus further explains “Because the pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed, kids are not thinking about the consequences of their actions because they are enjoying the experience.” So, what is the difference between punishing and disciplining? Punishments aim to make a child feel bad, forces dominion, and frankly, is a way to get revenge. If you really think about it, when you punish, it usually comes from a place of intense reactivity and a need to impose control. It inflicts shame and all it teaches them to do is to make